Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Loving and respecting your husband

So I'm going to this four week Bible study entitled "Loving you Husbands," by Judy Slaughter. She is a wonderful lady in charge on the women’s ministries at Athey. It is SO great and I wish every married or wanting to someday be married woman was in it with me! I'm learning so much and having my beliefs of what I want to do in the future confirmed. I thought I’d put down what she’s been sharing and what I’ve been learning so I can look back on it and maybe someone else might get something from it!

One thing we talked about last night that sunk in with me was how far our society misaligns with the Bible and what is says about being a wife. This country applauds the critical and independent spirit in women and it's the opposite of what the Word tells us. I think just about every rap song says independent woman somewhere in it now! There are so many passive men now with women that want to walk all over them! I have a very strong personality and I praise the Lord that He gave me someone to handle me and put me in my place! I'm so thankful I have a man who is so worthy of my respect and love. Although even if he's not, or does something that isn't worthy of my respect I'm called to anyways. :)

Ephesians 5:22 calls women to respect and submit to their husbands and that is my goal.

I'm also doing a love and respect video series with my homegroup and Dr. Emerson Eggerichs (the author of Love and Respect) says some great stuff!
 -A wife needs to feel loved to feel fulfilled.

Loved for who she is.

Respected for who he is.

A man will act unloving when he's not feeling respected and a woman will not want to respect when she's feeling unloved. A cycle that will keep going! Without love she reacts, without respect, he reacts.

Col. 5:19 talks about having agape love for your wives.

1 Pt. 3:1-2 Unconditional respect for his spirit and unconditional love for who she is.

Love empowers a wife and respect empowers a husband. The key to motivation is meeting their deepest need. I need to focus on how I can change!

We just started that series but that's a summary on some of the things I took notes on. Good stuff!

I want to remember my wedding vows each day and how happy I was to yield and surrender myself to Race. I'm so blessed to have such a Godly man to be unified with and stuck with the rest of my life!

I want to be a woman who doesn't harbor or stew over things but full of forgiveness! I want to truly be one with Race. I want to ask his opinion and approval before I do things and come under his protection as the head of my house. I want to only focus on myself and how I can change and never try and "fix" or change Race. I want to serve and bless Race and not make everything about me. I want the Lord to show me ways where I can grow and become more like Him. I know the enemy wants to destroy marriage and therefore I want to feed and nurture mine to become more Christ centered and be the best it can be EVERYDAY! Marriage takes a lot of work and I want to work on it always, never giving up. The Lord has called me to be Race's completer not his competor.

Proverbs 19:13 says a nagging wife is like dripping water.
No marriage is exempt! I'm not called to be Race's mother! :) Nagging in no way shows respect!

Ways we can respect our husbands- by not interrupting him, correcting him, talking on the phone while with him, making him wait at church, putting him down publically, by not sharing his flaws with others- "uncovering him"

One way to tell if he's feeling disrespected is if he's "suddenly -mad -out -of -the -blue!" Quick to anger over something you said or did is a sure sign he's felt disrespected.

Proverbs 31- the heart of her husband is safely trusted with her.
Keep him safe by not slandering and disrespecting him to others. Your husband wants to be your hero! Look at him the same as when you were dating:) I want to be Race's biggest fan and cheerleader!

I want my motivation for a good marriage to be to honor and bless God. The Lord is the one who will do the work. I need to yield to Him and say yes to Him and see what He will do!

Holiness leads to Happiness.

Titus 2:3-5
Older women likewise are to be revered in their behavior, not malicious gossips, not enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

It's seen so clearly in the Bible women's role as mothers and wives. I'm so happy to have a pastor who preaches women being at home, and so many Godly women at Athey who are at home raising their children up in the Lord. It’s encouraging being surrounded by families like this when the world had such a twisted version and looks down upon a woman who isn’t working. Even if it means sacrificing the double income I want to learn to live with less and be a Godly wife, mother, and home maker. If I were out of the house working my children and husband would get what's “left over” of me each evening and that's not what I want. I have a desire to home school my kids and raise them with the right values and make the Lord their first priority!

Well that’s what I’ve been learning and I hope it wasn’t too much rambling, or too hard to follow!

Here are the verses I used in my wedding that are some of my favorite on love and marriage-

Ecclesiastes 4:12

“Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Song of Solomon 8:6-7
Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it: if a man would give all the substance of his house for love, it would utterly be contemned.

Ruth 1:16-17

“Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The LORD do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.”

James 1:17

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Colossians 3:12-16

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, long-suffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the world of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with the grace in your hearts to the Lord.

Psalm 128:1-4
Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: they children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord.


  1. so lovely and all so true.

    and yes of course I remember you!! Congratulations on getting married. exciting!

    Glad you're doing a blog, i'm excited to read it!

  2. Hey! I totally know who you are : )And this blog was awesome! Thank you so much for sharing. No matter how much I think I know, I'm always learning more and more about marriage and how to be a good wife. Keep sharing your tips!


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